What's Been Up...

So I have been hinting that there has been big stuff going on in our lives. And there has. I have been waiting until after today to blog about it because we wanted to talk to a doctor first. And no, I am not pregnant.

First of all, it is a possibility that Bess may be having seizures. Now, I am sure some of you are wondering about the possible part. You would think it would be obvious. However, it is not. Some seizures, called absence seizures just look like day dreaming. The person completely zones out, and during an episode there is nothing you can do to bring them out. Well we noticed a couple of these episodes (including one where I found Bess face down on the floor). We talked to a childs nurse and then to the doctor today. The verdict for now is just observation. If it happens again we are to observe Bess and look for any sort of twitching and to check to see if she pees or poops during one. Whether these things happen or not, if an episode happens again we are to take her back to the doctor and he will refer us to a specialist. This is extremely stressful and scary to me. I had an uncle who had epilepsy who was also one of those rare cases who died from a seizure. So it really hits me hard to think of the possibilities. So that is what is going on with Bess.

Second, as you all know because I have complained many times, JJ eats all the time. Every 1.5hrs around the clock. I was really getting concerned and was afraid to cut out any feedings because he had dropped down two groth curves last check-up. At his check up today he has dropped another growth curve in weight. His height is fine. Now I am really concerned. I just don't think he is getting enough from me, and I think the that fact that he eats all the time is a good indicator that he is hunger. All. The. Time. Now the doctor didn't seem concerned. He said he looks fine and he is happy. Fine. But the doctor didn't as me his eating habbits. He actually didn't ask anything about JJ at all. So I do not feel reasured at all. I don't think it is normal for a baby to only grow 300g in 2 months. Add that to the eating every 1.5hrs around the clock makes me thing that something is wrong.

I think we may just have to switch over to formula. At least that way I know for sure that he is getting enough food. I just feel horrible about it. I also feel like a failure. It is not a good feeling to not be able to give your child the nutrients he needs to grow. I am really stuggling with this. Since the doctor didn't seem concerned my husband is not concerned at all. This just makes me feel worse. I feel like I don't have his support and that perhaps I am worring over nothing and just giving up for no reason. I want to do whats best for JJ, but Im just not 100% sure what that is right now.

So, in a nutshell, life is a little stressful and crappy right now for us.