Sunday, August 14, 2011

At a cross roads with Breastfeeding

As the title says, I have reached a cross roads with breastfeeding. I am due to start school in a couple of weeks which will have me out of the house for most of the day 5 days a week. I have been trying to stock up on milk, but I just can not manage to pump more than an ounce at a time. So, formula during the day will be our only option. I'm okay with that. Just a little sad.

Now, I want to still breastfeed JJ when I'm around. However I will not be able to pump at school (and really whats the point if I only get an ounce at a time anyways) and I am afraid that I just won't have the supply. I think it will dry up. A very tiny part of my kind of hopes that is the case.

The last few weeks I have been having this inner personal debate about whether or not it is time to stop breastfeeding all together. Breastfeeding started out very smooth for us, but has been getting more and more difficult. JJ eats every 1.5 hours, around the clock. It is exahusting. At first we thought that it was a comfort thing and we were trying to stretch out his feedings a bit. Then he dropped down 2 growth curves and it turns out he just needed to eat that often. He doesn't do it to suck. He latches, he eats, he unlatches (most of the time) rinse and repeat every 1.5hour.

I am beyond tired. I can't think straight and have a hard time getting out a sentence that anyone can understand. I have not slept for longer than an hour at a time since JJ was born. I am also sheding weight like crazy. I loose at least a pound a week, usually 2. He really is sucking the life out of me. He also now has two teeth and likes to nibble and I can not get him to stop. So I am pretty sore these days.

BUT, I like breastfeeding. I like having him cuddled up to me. I like the connection. I think I know in my heart it is time to give it up, but that is a very hard decision. I think I have finally reached a point where I really need to take more consideration about my health. A happier, less tired mom is much better for BOTH my children than a cranky tired one who can barely drag herself out of bed.

Made part-time breastfeeding will be the answer. We are going to start tomorrow. It is going to be strange to have my husband feed JJ all day.

Have any of you breastfed part time and have it work out?

1 comment:

  1. i don't have bf'ing experience, but i hope it works out the way you want ti to.