Well, I am not proud to say, but I failed at the whole single mommy thing. I made it through the first week. By the second day of the second week, stress got the best of me. I called my husband made him drive the 3 hours and come pick us up. We are now all staying in a one room guest room at our old apartment building until my husband finishes off work next week.
I feel like a complete failure. What mom can not take care of her own two children on her own? I guess me. I know there are contributing factors to my failure. For one, I am exhausted. I have not slept more than an hour at a time in about a month and never more than 2.5 hours at a time in the last 5 months. Still, doesn't every mom have that complaint. Pretty crappy excuse. Second excuse: I am stressed. Beyond stressed actually. I feel depression creeping in. I need to get a handle on it before it boils over. What am I stressed about? Well that's kind of a long story. It's own post is needed.
Some would think that having two children in one room would be even more stressful then being at home. Well, they would be wrong. Or at least in this case. There is nothing for Bess to get into. No fear of unpacked boxes falling down. I can see her at all times. Since getting here last night my stress levels have gone way down and I feel much more in control today than I did by myself at home. The fact that my husband will be home at some point today is also great. At least I will have someone to talk to and help me deal with the kids.
I love my children, but boy oh boy, I could really use a vacation from the constant nursing and the hitting, biting and scratching phase.....
oh, my goodness, you are not a failure at all!! my husband travels for work a LOT and it is really hard with just one child, that i actually why we decided to wait a while before we have another, and we might not even have another. i used to cry when he left on business, and you know what? once in a while, i still do!!
ReplyDeleteThanks.. stress is just getting the best of me right now I think..
ReplyDeleteAsking for help when you are overwhelmed and your body and mind can not possibly function properly due to lack of sleep is hardly failing. I think you are winner for asking for help! That seems to me to be the only thing to do both for sake of your own health and well being and that of your family. Props to you for doing what you do, I can only imagine how hard parenting is!
ReplyDelete